He's Going to be a Charmer in the Future

A few days ago at work I encountered the most sweetest transaction I've done ever since I started working in May.

A little four(?) year old boy that was barely as tall as my register counter anxiously waited in my line, looking left and right repeatedly.

When he got to the front of the line, he reached to hand me two red roses. As I smiled and said thank you, he asked me if I could hurry since it was his Mom's birthday in two days and he didn't want her to know that he was buying these roses for her.

They were the cheapest roses in the store, 99 cents each, but they were half off. When I told him the total was $1.06; pure joy just beamed from his face since I could tell he couldn't read the sign sales all around him.

He rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a crumbled one dollar bill and a handful of pennies, thrilled that he had money left over.

I gave him his receipt and he asked me for a bag so his Mom doesn't know what he bought. I handed him his bag and he grinned as wide as he could, exclaiming thank you, and ran to his (7?) year old brother to show him what he bought.

Right before he and his family walked out of the store he gave a smile and a wave in my direction.

It was the most adorable thing ever.

If I don't get married, I'm going to end up as a cat lady.

A week or two ago at work, I encountered my first legitimate cat lady. How did I know that she was a cat lady? I shall explain to you-

1) She had no wedding ring or wedding ring tan line on her left ring finger.

2) She had various colors of fur on her sweater.

3) She was buying Halloween cat ears.

4) She was probably in her late 50s, early 60s.

But what confirmed it all was #5...

5) I asked her if she found everything okay, and she got really mad that we don't carry 'cat blankets'. I told her that we have some small baby blankets in the Wearable section, and that we have fabric so she could make one. But she scoffed and said she'd go elsewhere.

I'm confused, last time I checked Hobby Lobby was a hobby store, not a pet store.

You Know You’re A Rebel When..

1. You’re assembling something and you notice instructions but throw them away.

2. You don’t wash your makeup off before you go to bed.

3. You don’t read the warning label.

4. You don’t walk up the stairs or down the hallway after you turned off the light at night.

5. You see a do not touch sign but you touch it anyway.

6. You don’t use heat protector when you use heat on your hair.

7. You jaywalk and/or text on the crosswalk at BYUI.

8. You don’t crack sunflower shells and eat the seed; you eat the whole thing.

9. You scream on the most calm, soothing ride at an amusement park.

10. You take two pieces of candy/mint/etc when the sign tells you to ‘take one’.

11. You read that the microwaved popcorn should go in for 1 minute 45 seconds. but you put it in for 1 minute 50 seconds instead.

12. You use eye shadow as a lipstick, or any makeup product not for it’s intended use.

13. You swing on the baby swings at the park when you’re not a baby (obviously).

14. You hum or quietly sing to yourself in the 2nd floor (floor of dead silence) of the library (also at BYUI).

15. You Facebook stalk a person far far back and you actually like or comment on things.

16. You eat just one potato chip.

17. You don’t wait for your nail polish to dry in between coats.

18. You wear two different colored socks.

Cashiers and Counterfeit Money

I apologize beforehand that this blog post is not meant to entertain, but more of a post that will let you get to know me better.

As a cashier, I handle hundreds of dollars in cash depending on the day at work. I'm a main cashier who does returns and purchases so often I can do over 200 transactions in an 8 hour shift including two 15 minute breaks and a 45 minute lunch. Some days I get one $50 dollar bill, sometimes I don't see them for weeks. Some days I get a few $100 dollar bills, sometimes I don't get any. But one of the bills I see in dozens are $1's, $5's, and $10's.

At my job we take many precautions so we don't lose company money from counterfeits. We have UV machines that we're supposed to use to check suspicious bills and bills over $50. If you get a bill over $50 you have to check it yourself, and get a CSM (Customer Service Manager) to check it as well.

A week ago, I encountered a peculiar $100 dollar bill; one of over half a dozen during that 8 hour shift. I checked it with the UV machine to see if the UV colored line showed up to ensure it's validity, and nothing appeared. I called over my CSM to see if she could see it, and she didn't. We then called the manager, an assistant manager, and another CSM to try and determine whether it was fake or not. In the end, it was a very, very old $100 where they didn't incorporate a UV light into the bill to help businesses determine whether a bill was counterfeit or not.

Last week I came in contact with a customer who was very rude to me in more ways than one, and seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the store. She paid in cash, and I saw a $5 that didn't look right to me at all. I thought back to when of my CSMs spotted a fake $20 a month earlier, and took into consideration that any amount could be counterfeited. It even felt different so I put the bill in the UV machine nonchalantly, as I tried to keep the conversation light with said customer. I quickly glanced at the bill but I didn't see a colored line appear.

I asked my assistant manager who thankfully happened to be nearby, if it looked fake to her. She asked if there was a colored line and put it in the machine, and then declared it to me that it was just an old $5 bill, and that I missed the line that was faintly glowing. The customer looked at me with a rude, judging look while saying, "Haven't you seen one of these before? His name is Lincoln, in case you didn't know." She and the person that she was with, was laughing to themselves about how I've never seen an old $5 bill, and how I'm so young and naive.

Lets just say that I don't appreciate teasing. At all. I have zero tolerance for teasing, negative sarcasm, playful insults, or anything of the sort. I encounter dozens and dozens of the new $5 dollar bills that look nothing like the new ones. Yes, I may be young, but that doesn't mean I'm naive. When I came in contact with $5 'old' dollar bills when I was younger, I didn't question the validity of them. Now, I see a huge difference in the old and new $5's.

I thought that feeling stupid and the embarrassment had come to an end last week, until my last shift at work. I was giving a customer her cash refund when she said, "I find it funny that you're giving me a $5 for part of my refund; seeing how last Friday you thought I was giving you a fake $5." I looked at her and gave her a fake laugh on how I haven't encountered an old $5 bill since, and I was just doing my job.

She then continued by saying she made a Facebook status about me and the situation, and how all of her friends were laughing at me and they couldn't stop talking about it. She kept going on and on about how hilarious she and her friends thought it was, and once again how young I am. I ignored the rest of her remarks, and kept to myself and only acknowledged her when I had to get her signature for the completion of the return.

I later found out that she's a retail business owner a few streets over. Knowing that, I think she should have acted more professional during that situation. It's common knowledge that experienced cashiers are trained to look for suspicious bills, and most people know that if they make one little mistake during their shift, it goes on their permanent record and the company loses some of their trust for that specific employee.

Emily Fun Fact: Don't tease me, be rude, playfully insult me, or be sarcastic to me. I won't tolerate it.

There are 5(ish) types of people:

I promise you guys, this isn't going to end up me blogging about work all the time. I have a non-work related blog post in the works just as soon as I figure out my angle.

So, as a cashier I confront 5(ish) different types of people (Some customers can be a mix of two, three, or all four):

1) The Eco-Friendly - #1 are usually the older generation, and commonly appear on Saturdays. There are various types of the eco-friendly. #1A will let me ring up their items and start putting their items in a bag. As I get down to their last items, they start grabbing their products out of the plastic bag and into their reusable bag. They give me an annoyed look and haughtily retort, "I brought my own bag, I'm trying to save the environment." I give them an imaginary evil eye and think to myself, "Why didn't you just give me your bag in the beginning so I could have put them in there in the first place?"

#1B is when I have learned from #1A and I ask if they want a bag for their items. They give me a, "I can't believe you just asked me that question" look on their face. It was like I just spat on them, when I simply asked if they wanted a bag. #1B crinkles their nose and remark, "No, I don't want a bag. Everyone should start charging for bags around here, it would make the world a better place."

#1C are the the ones who give me their bag in the very beginning, and often they put their products in their bag for me. They get me.

2) The Nitpicks - #2 buys a large amount of 'breakable', 'scratchable', or 'delicate' items. #2 almost always claim that they are in a hurry, but they insist on having me wrap every. single. item. It almost always doesn't matter that they're holding up the line during our busiest hour of the day, they can't bear the thought of having their precious poly-resin (aka fancy name for plastic) cowboy boot being scratched by other items. They're going home for crying out loud, what are they going to do, start a speed chase with the police and make crazy turns left and right? Come on now! Often they will also ask for individual bags because they have to buy bags back at home.

3) The Sale Reminder - #3 are almost as bad as #2. #3 is almost always a woman, and the name is self explanatory. She knows the store VERY well, and knows that we have manual registers where the cashier has to manually put in the department, price, and discount. There are two types of #3. The more common type #3A; tells me the discount of EVERY item. Now she may think she is helpful, but in reality she is downright annoying. I sometimes appreciate the help at the beginning of the week when we have the new sales*, but by Thursday I know them like the back of my hand.

*Customers often declare, "____________ is 50% off", in hopes to actually getting the item discounted. In reality I can't trust any customers, no matter what their motives are.

Now #3B is quiet, but is intensely staring at my screen to make sure that I get EVERY discount correctly, and if I don't #3B will me know. If either #3A and #3B is wrong and they don't have a 40% off coupon, #3 won't take the item and save it for the next time #3 at the store.

4) The Big Spender - #4 is the complete opposite of #3. It usually starts by #4 flaunting their American Express credit card by first boasting, "You guys don't take American Express, do you?" I point and say that we do. I ring up dozens of items, and she usually spins her credit card in between her fingers while yawning until I'm done ringing up her countless knick-knacks. Sometimes #4 retorts, "You don't have automatic registers? You should change that!" As if I, a meager cashier, really has a say in all of it. Every now and then I tell #4 that a certain item that's higher than $50 isn't on sale, but they merely shrug it off and go about their day as I wave them off silently thanking them for paying for my paycheck.

5) Where's The Bathroom? - #5 asks me where the bathroom is. I tell them where it's at, and I never see them again.

The ones I like the most are #1C, #3B and #4. Why? They don't believe that they're better and have more knowledge than the store than me. Girl please!

"I somewhat felt like a drug dealer."

Haha, really, no joke. I felt like I was doing something illegal at work with my suspicious behavior.

I was one of the main cashiers for my entire shift. My work is known to have weekly sales and it's a rotation that you can predict what will go on sale if you know it well enough like myself.

(For example: if you're addicted to shopping there, or you just pay attention.)

So, I'm not going to lie, our prices are kinda ridiculous unless it's on sale. Now, as a frugal shopper myself, I often feel bad for customers that are buying things that are going on sale in three days.

It goes like this- I see this woman carrying these two candle holders that I recently put together the day before. Candle holders were on sale last week; while candles, LED lights, and all that jazz are on sale this week. It switches off every other week and these two candle holders were the only things that she was buying.

Me: -looks at the discount sheet- "Oh no, these candle holders were on sale 50% last week!"

Customer: "Oh, really? That's horrible! How much is just one then?"

Me: "$64.99 -whispers- But they'll be on sale next week."

Customer: -looks serious- Oh.. really? Then I'll just wait till next week"

Me: "Good idea."

Customer: -looks around- Do you work on Monday?

Me:Yes.

Customer: Great, I'll be back then. -nods-

So, if I was wrong (which I don't think I am), I'm going to feel really bad if candle holders don't go on sale next week, because that woman is going to waste her time coming back.

"Old people love gives me hope for my love life."

So I know I haven't blogged in forever, and I apologize for doing so. Most work days aren't very blog worthy so I'd rather blog about entertaining topics than the opposite.

On Monday, I was at my register ringing up some nice customers and not so nice customers- but this one woman stood out in particular to me. Let's call her... Shaniqua.

(I'm checking out all of her items and putting them in a bag.)

Shaniqua: "I've never been to this store before, it's so quiet!"

Me: "Yeah, if they actually played music with lyrics you know I'd be singing along."

"Well, just make up your own song!"

-opens mouth and stops- "Hm... I'd have to think about it..."

Then I started singing the chorus to this song:



Her reaction?

"OOOOOOOH CHILD! You have a gorgeous voice!"

"Haha, thanks, it's the song that's been stuck in my head all day. I sing in choirs but I never do solos."

"You don't do solos? Ooooh but you should! My church would LOVE to have you in one of our choirs! How old are you?"

"Heh, well I'm too nervous to do solos. I'm 19, but I turn 20 in November."

"Oooh, you're looking young for your age! Child, that is a blessing, that is a BLESSING. We have millions of choirs at my church, I thought you'd do amazing in our youth choir, but it's between ages 12 and 18..."

She recites her Baptist church address up in San Jose.

Shaniqua: "If you ever want to come, I'm sure my choir would hand you over the mic and you could do a little something something in front of everyone!"

"Haha, I'll think about it."

She left waving, and I left work that day with a little bit higher self-esteem pertaining to my singing voice.

Laundry Mishaps, Blood Curling Screams, Pillow Forts, and the Works.

It's been a while, I have to admit. Remember that one time during my Fall semester I promised I'd write a blog post every other week?

HAH!

So, I'm really not going to write a dozen blog posts, I'm just going to give you the highlights of my winter semester, be prepared for a long post, (hey, I’m not making you read this.)

I started off my semester by being able to drive down to Utah with Mitchell singing Phantom of the Opera to my hearts content and go to my first ever NBA game; The Portland Trailblazers vs the Utah Jazz.


I don’t want to mention who won.

But that's not the main reason why I went. I visited Orem so I could go to my first niece Kayla's baby blessing!


Isn't she absolutely precious?

~~~

Another great memory I had was when Jade and I went to the bathroom at church in the Snow building to primp ourselves, and we encounter a plant sitting on a toilet.


We called him Jasper! I walked in that building Sunday-Friday so I'd always try to find Jasper and say hello to him. You know, plants need love too!

~~~

Erik was over at our apartment a lot. I like to call him my son (to this very day) considering I was FHE Mom last semester, and he was in my FHE family. One night last semester I asked if I could put a clear coat of nail polish on his fingernails, and he surprisingly said yes!

Why I'm so surprised is because he hasn't let ANYONE paint his nails. Not his sister who is girly like myself, no one. Do I feel pretty special or what?

So this semester, I asked once again if I could paint his nails again. Amazingly enough, he said yes once again, but I was able to use a little color and glitter on his nails this time around! Heh heh heh…




He is SUCH a good sport, isn’t he?! =D

~~~

Now, as you all know that Idaho is known for its chilly days. I have the luxury of being able to walk in foot tall piles of snow and not be fazed by it whatsoever because of my boots.

By my apartment complex, there’s about a foot tall of snow that covers the entire area, except a trodden down path that is used as a shortcut. Once you get off the shortcut, you have to endure a natural made ice rink to go along your way.

I'm not going to lie, I relished each time I walked on that said area, because I never took the shortcut! I would always walk in the snow pile in a drunken-like manner so people would think, "What the heck was that person on when they were walking?"

But this time, walking on the snow was different. I wanted to see if I could stay on top of the snow, instead of sink right through.

I took my sweet sweet precious time. Step after step, I was able to walk on top of the snow pile without sinking through. After I got to the edge of the ice rink I threw my fist in the air and said, "I am Jesus!"

(For those who don’t get it, Jesus walks on water. Snow is water, therefore, I proclaimed I was Jesus.)

Pretty proud of myself, I walked onto the ice rink without much of a thought.

I slipped and fell to the ground instantaneously.

God has a sense of humor doesn't he?

~~~

Laundry: one of the worst chores in the world. Doing laundry up in college is even worse considering you have to pay for it, but this another reason why I loathe it.



For those who really don't know what that is because you never see what I wear, those are my socks and shirts that are dripping wet after being put in the dryer.

One night I was doing my laundry like how I always do my laundry. I used washer #6, yes, I remember. I get my clothes out of the dryer and I notice they're a little bit more wet than usual. I shrug it off because I had homework to do so I put them in dryer #2.

Forty five minutes later I get my clothes and I thought that someone had opened the dryer to see if it was available, and then never turned it on again.

WRONG.

I pressed the start button over and over again, but alas, the dryer cycle has been run. I wrung my clothes in the laundry room and water was seeping onto the floor.

I was completely livid.

It was ten minutes before curfew, so I couldn't put them in the dryer again, (not that I wanted to fork over another dollar in quarters) so I took them home, heavier than ever.

Oh, I was not pleased.

I sprawled everything out to dry in my room, hoping and praying that my clothes would dry before morning, considering I had washed every single pair of jeans and unmentionables in that one load of laundry,

My prayers weren't answered.

I went to the manager of the apartment complex, secretly hiding my fuming anger. She gave me a sympathetic look, and gave me an extra dollar to let me dry them again.

Apparently the washer was broken and they thanked me profusely for letting them know and John the repairman went to go fix washer #6 immediately so my story would not be repeated.

Round two of drying, it didn't work. I had to use my own quarters for the third time before my clothes got completely dry.

Normally I wouldn't really care about having some damp clothes, is that I was singing at devotional today and my ENTIRE all black ensemble was in the pile of dripping wet clothes.

I kid you not when I say Jade and I literally dried my outfit with a hair dryer right before I left.

I haven't used washer #6 since.

~~~

This story, all starts out with Henry. You may think that Henry is a boy, but in reality Henry is just a scooter that Jade and I decided to name. Oh how I love Henry!

It was a Friday night, and we’ve noticed that a scooter along our staircase that has been abandoned for far too long. Jade and I decided that hey, scooters need some love too, why not let Henry fulfill his purpose and bring great joy to college students such as ourselves?

But of course, we couldn’t start this epic Friday night out without the proper attire:


We rode to our hearts content!

We went left



We went right



We went everywhere!

We batmanned.



Well, sort of.



Stuff ourselves into dryers





We were on a sugar high from Jones Soda and mint Oreos, and laughed and laughed about photos that we had taken the entire night, probably pictures that only her and I appreciate.

You can say it was pretty much one of the best Fridays of the semester.

~~~

Am I boring you yet? Either way, I’m going to continue typing, (38,000 feet in the air at 461mph, no big deal).

Grant and I went to BYUI’s opera, Tartuffe to support our friends that were in the play. (Sam, if you’re reading this, you did amazing!) We enjoyed adding witty commentary, while reading the captions that were off to the side of the stage considering we really couldn’t understand what they were singing at times.

But afterwards, is when I became a little kid again. As some of you know, I have a very short attention span, so I don’t watch very many movies. Grant was appalled when he heard that I haven’t seen the newest Batman movie, so he suggested that we should go over to his apartment and wait for it- make a PILLOW FORT.

HECK YES I WANT TO BUILD A PILLOW FORT.

I haven’t made a pillow fort ever since I was a little kid! (Okay technically it was a blanket fort but you get the idea).


You see him? He’s the reason for another one of the best Fridays ever.

~~~

Now this tale, I will deny if you ask me about it in person. We were in the lounge during the Sunday morning session of General Conference. Afterwards, Jade, Kristin, and I all declared that we needed to take a shower still. The competitiveness in me wanted me to be the first person in the shower, so naturally I did.

I was home alone, pondering about life- the past, present, and future in the shower. Okay okay, in reality I was shaving and I was concentrating on not cutting myself.

Then all of a sudden, a shadow overcomes me on the other side of the curtain. Panicking, I peek behind the shower curtain to see what caused this drastic change.

I see a hooded figure, and without thinking I let out this most blood curling scream I’ve ever released in my entire life.

I hear laughter, familiar laughter. JADE. Apparently, Kristin gave Jade a penny to unlock the bathroom door, and she wanted to scare me for the third time this semester.

If I wasn’t already sitting down because of shaving, I would have literally slipped and fallen to the floor. I was so startled because I thought it was some stranger (because I thought I was alone) I started to tear up.

Everyone in the apartment heard my scream.

Everyone.

~~~

Now that I’m back on solid ground in California, I must wait till Fall to go back to college, and how I miss everyone so.


So… does anyone know who’s hiring in my area?

He Wants to be Your Knight in Shining Amour and Save You!

So, this tale is a sad one indeed. It all starts Thanksgiving break as I left my laptop charger back at my lovely Aunt Karen’s house.

I was using my laptop Saturday afternoon and alas, my low battery light comes on! Eh, no big deal, I’ll just get my charger from my suitcase. I look in the suitcase with all of my other chargers and it was not to be found. I check my laptop case to see if I put it in there.

Negative.

I search through all of my belongings and turned my suitcase up side down that I took on the trip and my charger cannot be found.

Great.

I think back, and realize that my Uncle Daniel asked me, “Whose charger is this?” directing toward the laptop charger on the kitchen table. “Oh, it’s probably Stacie’s; she was sitting there last night.” Only if I had paid closer attention to that charger, none of this would have ever happened, since I was sitting right next to her.

Fast forward to Monday, which is one of my busiest days out of my entire week. I go to the library to use their computer for homework since the library isn’t open till 1am, the time I usually finish my homework back at home. I’m so determined to finish my math project before my Business Law class, I realize I’m going to be late if I don’t leave now. I hurriedly log off and rush to class, making it just in time.

Just about a few minutes later, I realize I left my flash drive in the computer that I was working on.

Awesome.

I think to myself, “Okay, don’t worry Emily, there’s a lost and found… They’ll probably give it to the library service desk.” As Aladdin once said as they were riding the magic carpet, “Abu, this is no time to panic!”

But I kept on thinking what was on that flash drive… My finished business portfolio that I still needed to make a power point presentation on (my laptop has the unfinished one), a D&C paper that I finished that’s due the next day, and my finished math project that took two hours to complete. I believe the line that Aladdin said was, “Start panicking!”

So naturally, I did.

I race towards the library after class was over, searching the area where I left my flash drive.

It was nowhere to be found.

I go to two desks asking if anyone turned in an angel flash drive.

No luck.

Defeated, I walked home with my dramatic music pretending I’m in a sad music video.

Someone (I don’t remember who, so if you want credit let me know) exclaims, “Hey, maybe he wants to be your knight in shining armor and save you! He’ll track you down personally because he saw the picture of you in your business portfolio. Then once he finds you, he’ll give it to you and then ask you out on a date!

HAH.

So far, my knight in shining armour is nowhere to be found.

You have to be a rebel at least ONCE in your life!

I'm going to rewind my life oh... at least a decade? (Sheesh, I feel so old by being able to say that)

Picture this... Going grocery shopping with your Mom. You see the long aisle of the delectable sugary cereals, and lo and behold! Your Mom lets you choose the cereal!

Seeing the commercials for Reeses Puffs or Cookie Crisp and how delicious you imagine them to be, you grab for the box.

Only to have your dreams shattered when you hear the words, "No, that isn't good for you, pick something else that isn't pure sugar."

My little heart broke in two when I couldn't have Reeses Puffs.

As most of you know, I'm now out of the house and I get the pleasure of shopping for myself.

I was shopping at Walmart a couple weeks ago with Kelsi, and I was admiring the selection of cereals that they had.

And then..

I saw the cereal that I wanted.

I look to my left...

I look to my right...

and I snatch that Reeses Puffs from the shelf and toss it into my basket, cackling maniacally inside of my head!

I felt like such a rebel, going against what my Mom told me so many years ago on how I shouldn't buy sugary cereals.

I wake up the next morning, eager to try my non-healthy, sugary cereal for the first time, imagining it to be just AMAZING.

Well, I was sure disappointed. It just tasted like a mixture of Cocoa Puffs and Peanut Butter Crunch.

Psh, I waited a decade for disappointment?!

I think I'll stick to my Honey Bunches of Oats with Cinnamon Clusters instead.

Heels Should Come With Warning Labels

I, Emily Sudweeks, have officially injured myself here at Rexburg... and it hasn't even legitimately snowed or gotten icy here yet. This winter is gonna be good. (When I say good, I mean out right terrible.)

I caution you, the picture at the end of the blog is NOT for the faint at heart! Then again, I'm just a wuss when it comes to injuries so it really may not be as bad as I believe.

But if it doesn't look bad, oh man, it FEELS bad.

I suppose I should start the story now eh?

First off, I must say, I am a PRO when it comes to heels. Half inch, two inch, four inch, you name it. I have them. Of course most of them are at home because I didn't want to bring two dozen pairs of shoes when I obviously won't be able to wear open toed shoes much longer.

I have worn heels ever since my parents let me choose out my own church shoes. The higher the heel the better, the bigger the bow the better.

I ran away from my parents in heels because I didn't want to leave church. I ran towards the car in heels after church dances from because I was freezing cold.

I've strutted in three inch stilettos (the same that caused me my doom) down a slippery runway for a fashion show a few years back and I didn't flinch at all.

I have never fallen down in heels... until today. My streak of poise and grace has vanished right before me.

Now imagine these shoes... Black three inch stilettos, peep toe, with a cute buckle in the front.

Those aren't so bad, I've had more deadly shoes. Higher and thinner.

Now Fred forgot something at my apartment so he figured he'd just walk me home from church. It's about approximately six or seven minutes walk to my apartment.

You know that saying, accidents happen approximately within fifteen miles away from your house. I know that's for car accidents, but klutzs like myself can have accidents too!

So he and I were walking home, talking about whatever was on our minds. I'm not sure what I was focusing on, but that little heel of mine slipped right between the crack..

and BOOM. Hello sidewalk! Meet my left knee and the palm of my hand! It's so nice to meet you.

Fred, being the gentleman he is, tried to help me up. But the sheer embarrassment of falling in heels you've owned for over four years hurts your pride a bit. So I shot up claiming I was fine and we continued walking, joking about it for mere moments.

As we neared our destination, I kept feeling blood drip down my knee so I tried to nonchalantly inspect my knee.

Oh.

Oh man.

This doesn't look good.

I can promise you the picture looks much more vivid on my phone and in real life. I can honestly say that my entire kneecap is bruised, and it's going to take me MUCH longer to walk to class. It hurts like heck to walk up stairs, and I have the opportunity to walk up three flights of stairs just to get to one of my classes three times a week.

I'm crippled.

If anyone sees me on campus, I will happily accept a piggy back ride. xD

...Maybe this is a sign that I should buy a new pair of shoes.

So this is a little embarrassing to admit but...

I kinda almost ate a leaf just now.

Now you're thinking, "Why on Earth Emily, would you almost eat a leaf? Leaves are on the ground or on trees. How could they possibly get into your mouth?"

Well, it all started off with my Mom sending me a coupon for a dollar off some chips. (Thanks Mom! I love you! <3)

I got me some tasty BBQ potato chips since that's what my stomach currently desired.

I have been finishing my homework for my math class on my bed while munching on the crunchy crisps. (That survey? Yeah, that homework.)

I notice that one of my broken chips fell onto the bed, and I thought, "Hey, 5 second rule doesn't apply here considering it only landed on my bed." as I picked up the chip and tossed it into my mouth.

I began to chew said chip, and realized that it tasted a bit more... flat, bland, and non chip-like at all.

I pull out my chip, and realize that it's an orange leaf.

Don't ask me how a leaf got onto my bed, I have no idea.

On the other hand, I met 'Stephen' while doing laundry tonight. (If you don't know what I'm talking about refer to my post.) I found out his name was Aaron, not Stephen.

Eh, close enough.

"Hey I Don't Know You But Here's A Flower"

"Hey I just met you

and this is crazy

so here's a flower

talk to me maybe?"

Although that might have not been the first thing that I heard when I answered the door on Thursday night, it sure felt that way.

Here I was, finishing off a piece of bread, intently watching Chopped: Teen episode on Food Network. I was eager to focus my attention to the show considering my favorite part (the dessert round) was about to come on.

Then all of a sudden the doorbell rings. I yell, "Come in!" just as everyone else does in this apartment.

Nothing.

I get up, wondering if it's another kid selling deliciousness, like Sees candy bars. Just previously a kid was selling homemade cinnamon rolls for a dollar. Oh how they were glorious! Best dollar I spent.

But alas, it was not a kid selling Sees candy bars. It was two random guys and one of them had a flower in his hand. First thing I hear is, "Hey I don't know you but here's a flower."

...Okay... Where are they going with this?

We start talking about the usual stuff that everyone asks when you're in college. What's your name, what are you majoring in, what ward are you in, and all that jazz.

Sadly enough, I don't remember the first guy's name at all. I told him later on that he looks like a guy that I know named Stephen, so I'll just call him that. (Stephen, if you're reading this, oh hey! xD)

Then the second guys name was two first names, so I have a variety of guesses on what his actual name is. Luke Bryan? Bryan Luke? Mark Bryan? I want to say Luke Bryan, because apparently he's a country singer and it would be no big deal if I met "Luke Bryan". So I'll just go with that.

Turns out Stephen has randomly knocked on a girl's door from his ward and gave her a flower too, then she slammed the door in his face and she's ignored him ever since. I laughed and jokingly told them that if they're interesting enough I'd blog about all of this. They agreed and told me that I should blog how I met these two cool guys on a Thursday night.

Yeah.. not exactly.

It's not like I didn't mind talking to them, but there was a lot of awkward silences and they even admitted that they got the flower from a bush outside (which I knew considering I walk by them every day multiple times).

The entire conversation was just odd, and I kinda figured that they checked me out through the window and wanted to talk to me. They also gained creeper status because Stephen took a picture of me when I was talking mid-sentence.

Not. Cool.

After they left, they may have gained my name, where I live, my ward, and a picture of me... But they failed to leave with my number, and a desire for me to talk to them ever again.

But I was perturbed, because of them I didn't find out who won Chopped.

Lame Pick Up Lines Do NOT Work

So I had the privilege to watch the 5 hour version of Pride and Prejudice with my amazing roommates Kelsi and Julia. We grabbed a pizza and some soda and headed over to the Lounge to watch it on the big screen instead of our laptop. Sadly enough, the tv in our apartment doesn't have a DVD hookup.

About an hour or so in, we noticed that there was this bug on the screen. Julia took it upon herself to get rid of the insect in the most obvious way possible...

She grabs a pillow that she was using, swipe it across the TV, (and in one fluid motion) throw it against the wall, turn 180 degrees, do a little jump, all while running away and jumping back on the couch. It was seriously the cutest and funniest thing ever.

About two hours in, a girl and a guy started to do their homework at the table, not bothering us whatsoever. I didn't really think much of it until the girl left thirty minutes later and the guy stuck around.

That, is where it all went downhill from there.

The guy singles me out by pointing at me and asks me my name. (Note: He never told me his name so I will proceed to call him Arnold from now on.)

I told him my name was Emily, and he then asked me, "Emily, do you have a band-aid? Since I hurt myself when I fell for you."

Me, only hearing the first half of his question, I idiotically said, "Uhm, in my apartment?" Then realizing when I spoke those last words I realized Arnold used one of the oldest pick up lines in the book. I seriously wanted to do a face palm and I was hoping he was joking.

Alas, he was not.

While Arnold was throwing more pick up lines at me such as, "What's your favorite temple? Because I'm looking at mine," or "Is your name virtue? Since you garnish my thoughts unceasingly." (The first thing you asked me was my name you imbecile, don't use that one! >.<) Julia jumped off of the couch and rolled over to where Kelsi was sitting so he couldn't see her. She mouthing the word, "No," to me over and over again, so I switched my answer to "maybeeee" to no.

But Arnold wasn't exactly giving it up. "Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?" escaped his mouth and I gave Julia and Kelsi multiple looks as he was literally looking up pick up lines from his phone.

He goes on and starts talking about a pick up line that involved marriage, which just freaks me out more. It went something along the lines of, "You know what I want? I want to be sitting down with my kids one day, and they'd ask me about my first love. I can tell them about how I saw this most magnificent, beautiful girl..." and I cut Arnold off since he lost his train of thought. I finished the pick up line saying, "and you'd point at me and say that's her," since I knew how it was going to end. I'm the master of pick up lines.

Then he started to make up this story on the spot and I was so flabbergasted I wasn't even paying attention to what Arnold was saying because I was trying to figure out how to get out of it. Thankfully, Julia read my mind, piped up, and said, "Should I pause the movie?" Only then got the hint and said, "No I'll leave," and left the lounge.

We paused the movie anyways.

Long story short, his uncanny behavior has been known to cause... distress in previous situations. Julia has learned this from past friend's experiences, so she thought it would be best if I learn from the girl's past experiences, and not have to learn myself.

Shucks.

"What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?"

Taking out the trash.

Just a simple chore a kid could do it.

Taking out the trash out to the curb is a bit more difficult.

Usually my Daddykins takes out the trash every Thursday, but it was my turn. My family has accidentally forgotten to take out the trash two weeks in a row because of our various vacations, so I really had to take it out tonight.

I think it’s going to take 5-10 minutes tops considering I had to take out both recyclables, trash, and greenery. So I slip into some boots and an oversized sweatshirt and head on out into the brisk air.

I know there’s supposed to be four, but I only saw three. I shrugged it off and get to the first recyclables- not so bad, not so bad. Onto the garbage, had to put a little more effort into it to get it over the curb since the dirt isn’t very compact. Then I see that our gardener nicely put our green garbage close to the curb so I didn’t have to push it far to the curb.

Then I see why.

As I attempt to push the garbage can to the curb, I feel my feet moving whilst the can stays right in place. The can is practically overflowing, and I can’t get it to budge. I get a bit of a running start and kick the bottom of the can and I make miniscule progress, then the edge of the curb halts whatever force of motion I had into completing this mission.

I try to lean the can back towards me so I can shove with all of my might over the curb and onto the street. But the farther I leaned, the more… drippage I got from the can. As most of you all know, my girliness comes out and I shriek in disgust and let go of the garbage can.

Bad move. Very, VERY bad move.

The garbage can slips and falls forwards onto the street horizontally, crashing and spewing leaves, dirt, and other greenery paraphilia everywhere. A car comes by to witness the scene so I scream and run toward the fence and hide behind the bushes until the coast is clear.

I walk back in disgust and try to jerk the can upright so I can move on my merry way back into the house. No luck. I try to get a good grip on my hands and a good tread on my feet and give another yank but with no avail.

I try to move it to on its side so the slight hill that the street is on will help me stand it straight. That made it even worse and created more spillage all over the street. Out of the corner of my eye, I see this ginormous bug running away from the pile of leaves. I yelp in repulsion and try to stay away from it as far as possible. Then for some strange reason I saw it was running in a straight line at a perfect pace down the slope. I looked closer and realized it was a perfect clump of… something rolling out of the trash. I laugh to myself and how silly I sounded, but it’s a plausible scenario that insects could very well be living in my garbage can. As I laughed to myself, I saw yet another car coming towards me, and I darted toward my fence and hid behind it just in case someone gave me a judging look for the mess in the street.

I walk back and look at my situation, admittedly enough I tried to take a picture of it so I could have a laugh and post it on here but alas, it was too dark. I make a few more attempts in pulling the can and kept on failing over and over again no matter how hard I tried. I scurried back and forth between the bushes and the curb as cars whizzed on by the embarrassing scene.

I admit to myself I don’t have the strength to pull it upright, so I wonder if I can push it upright. I get out on the street, and successfully push it upright! I do a little HALLELUAH in my head, before I realize leaves and dirt are getting all over me because more of it was still falling out. The girly part of me wants to let go in revulsion, but I know it’d just happen again if I let go, so I finally completed my mission.

…or so I thought.

I looked around me, and texted Orion if I had to clean up the mess around me or if I could just leave it. I sighed when I saw the simple ‘Yes’ on the screen. So, I marched off to find the shovel, and scooped up the remaining greenery off the street and into the green garbage.

And of course you know I ran away whenever a car came near.

"This kinda thing would NEVER happen to me."

This is the story of how I almost died.

So, I failed to mention where I now work.

You are looking at the blog of a person who works at -drum roll- Gilroy Gardens! Woot woot! It's pretty much an amusement park for little kids. But I can testify that it's great fun for 18 year olds because -cough- I was just there two or three weeks ago with a friend.

I got an interview Monday around 2:30 and I left juuuust a little bit late for my liking.

It didn't really help that I kept on getting every. single. red. light. imaginable.

But there was this one stop light that was different from the rest.

-cue dramatic music here-

As I was approaching this certain stop light, I noticed there was a train crossing. No big deal right? I slowly come to a stop, with the train tracks right in front of me.

I was bouncing in my seat, anxious to get to my interview on time when suddenly... I see a sports car speeding towards me in my lane with no desire to stop.

I slightly panic, but realize I have space in front of me, so I move forward to give the sports car more room to brake. As I predicted they would, they braked at the very last second. Pssh... sports cars.

Now in defense mode, I look to my left, with a sigh of relief as I see no trains coming towards me.

Look to my right, and I promise you the color from my face drained completely as I saw two headlights getting closer and closer to me as I gasped in unbelief.

"There's a train coming towards me. There's a train coming towards me? There's a TRAIN coming TOWARDS me!" was my thought process the entire time as I was right on the train tracks.

I nervously look back and forth between the red light and the train. It literally felt like the longest red light in the history of red lights.

I tried to inch up closer to the car in front of me to get out of the train's path, but with no luck. I was still in the direct path of the train.

I looked behind me to see if the sports car backed up to give me space, but he was tailgating me more than ever. But, of course he wasn't in the path of destruction, only I was.

I half heartedly chucked to myself thinking, "Oh in heaven, people are going to ask how I died. I'll get to tell them that I was going to an job interview, and I got hit by a train. Hah!"

I even started to wonder if the crossing gates were going to smash my car so I wouldn't be able to open my door. But considering I was paralyzed with fear, I wouldn't have been able to even if I thought of it. I kept on looking. Train. Stop light. Train. Stop light. Train. Stop light. I started praying harder than I ever had before to make it out of this car alive.

Before I almost started to hyperventilate, the stop light turned green. I have never been more happy to see a green light in my life. HALLELUJAH! I slammed on the accelerator as gently as I could onto my destination

I got to my interview exactly on time, and got the job right on the spot.

I NEVER plan on taking that route to Gilroy Gardens ever. again.

Although, I do have to cross another pair of train tracks on the new route to work...

Guess what, I'm not dead!

Crazy, I know right?

So I'm not entirely sure if I'll be doing the same style of blogging I did back in 2010 or 2011. I mean, the pictures were cool and all that jazz. But I'm now in college, more mature. -sophisticated pose-

Okay, maybe not so mature.

But the last year has been good. Have had a few break ups, some new relationships, it's all good in the not so hood. I finished my first year at community college with 34 credits behind me, and now I'm preparing myself to go to good ol' BYU Idaho. OH MAN.

(May I just say I am absolutely enthralled to be able to get show choir class where I'll participating in a 4 part women harmony? Music to my ears!)

Not to mention I've not gained one, but two jobs this summer.

(Although I plan on quitting my first job, besides gosh danggit, it whomps.)

I suppose I could share my near death experience while obtaining one of those jobs... But in reality, what would make you interested in coming back to read my blog tomorrow if I told you the exciting tale now?

Hut 2, 3, 4!

Since it's the summer, I figured it was time to get into shape.

I don't want to be a house ridden couch potato!

After a few weeks I thought it was really boring just running forwards and backwards on the elliptical (running backwards is so painful too, WOO).

So I decide to go through my Mom's workout DVDs and videos.

I've felt ridiculous dancing to the beat while I do simple but embarrassing dance steps.

Yesterday I did Boot Camp Workout DVD.

Note to readers: If you fail to have weights, use remote controls
(Note: They are NOT effective at all)

Let's just say, everything BUT my arms are SO. SORE.

It hurts to laugh. Do you have ANY idea how much I laugh?

I accidentally kicked the elliptical while I was doing my roundhouse kicks.

WHOOPS

I nearly punched the lamp AND the elliptical.

DOUBLE WHOOPS.

I think there should be a warning label at the beginning of the DVD...

"My biscuits are burning!"

So last night I was up late last night.

All of the windows were open.

All of the lights were out.

Except ONE.

I was on the internet and I smelled something burning.

I investigated outside.

I investigated the rest of the house.

I finally realize... something like this happened.



All of the bugs that were attracted to the light.

Some of them were dumb and ended in a crispy death ON the lightbulb.

Tasty!

"You just lost the game."

AHOLA!

(Now if this was a introduction in a talk you guys would say AHOLA! back.)

Yesterday I was able to go to a Stake Mutual Luau, and I must say...

IT WAS THE BOMB DIGGITY.

Macy and I got food and we cut quite a few people...
Heh heh heh...

I mean, they weren't paying attention to the line so it was obvious that they didn't want to eat!

I noticed a certain male was there that I wish that wasn't...

(If you really want to know what I'm talking about just ask)

He was being a BIT of a creeper.

Good thing I had my trusty shades to hide underneath!

Then of COURSE when they announced a Hula Hoop Contest I became less discreet and jumped right up!

I could have gone for hours, most people don't know my skills I have.

Multiple people went down.

I yawned.

We had to move around.

I took off my shoes while hula hooping and started to do spins and walking around the 'stage'.

The last person besides me was just slooooowly moving.

Then I lost my balance for a second and people thought I was going to drop and everyone GASPED.

I regain my composure and people cheered.

Then I pretended to be a plane with my arms and soar... it was quite fun!

Finally the other girl stopped and I was able to show off my tricks!

Hula hoop from my waist to my neck.

My neck to my arm.

Back to my arm to my neck to my waist.

Waist to my knees.

Then my knees to my feet and I started to skip.

People cheered and I felt triumphant!

So much for going unnoticed and hope that this certain male doesn't talk to me!

Then we learned a hula dance and Angela, Anna, Kelsi, Macy, Stacie, and I started to do our own interpretations of the movements... (I'm guessing I'm forgetting a few people)

Sorry, but you just had to be there. xP

Then we got to choose different stations and most of us went to KARAOKE! ALRIGHT.

We sung N'Sync, Lady Gaga, Avril Lavigne, Glee, and others.

Let's say it rocked.

THEN.

AFTERWARDS.

WE.

*drum roll*

WE HAD OTTER POPS!

No... Well, we did, but that's not worth drum rolling about!

*drum roll*

Watched a Fire Dancer perform and it was the coolest but scariest thing in my life!


Then again, I was in the first row and he got right in our faces.

(I was praying that his hands wouldn't get all sweaty and he would throw the two-sided fire baton into the audience and the mutual would end on a negative note, he didn't. HOORAY!)

Then, he asked if anybody wanted to take a picture of him and I was like YES PICTURE TIME!

I was the last picture takee with him, I felt special.

Note to self: Get that picture...

I'll post it if I ever get it.

Then Melissa, Anna, Merry, Dawn, and Marissa and I drove home in Sister Watts car.

Well, and that's just ANOTHER story...

ALOHA!