"What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?"

Taking out the trash.

Just a simple chore a kid could do it.

Taking out the trash out to the curb is a bit more difficult.

Usually my Daddykins takes out the trash every Thursday, but it was my turn. My family has accidentally forgotten to take out the trash two weeks in a row because of our various vacations, so I really had to take it out tonight.

I think it’s going to take 5-10 minutes tops considering I had to take out both recyclables, trash, and greenery. So I slip into some boots and an oversized sweatshirt and head on out into the brisk air.

I know there’s supposed to be four, but I only saw three. I shrugged it off and get to the first recyclables- not so bad, not so bad. Onto the garbage, had to put a little more effort into it to get it over the curb since the dirt isn’t very compact. Then I see that our gardener nicely put our green garbage close to the curb so I didn’t have to push it far to the curb.

Then I see why.

As I attempt to push the garbage can to the curb, I feel my feet moving whilst the can stays right in place. The can is practically overflowing, and I can’t get it to budge. I get a bit of a running start and kick the bottom of the can and I make miniscule progress, then the edge of the curb halts whatever force of motion I had into completing this mission.

I try to lean the can back towards me so I can shove with all of my might over the curb and onto the street. But the farther I leaned, the more… drippage I got from the can. As most of you all know, my girliness comes out and I shriek in disgust and let go of the garbage can.

Bad move. Very, VERY bad move.

The garbage can slips and falls forwards onto the street horizontally, crashing and spewing leaves, dirt, and other greenery paraphilia everywhere. A car comes by to witness the scene so I scream and run toward the fence and hide behind the bushes until the coast is clear.

I walk back in disgust and try to jerk the can upright so I can move on my merry way back into the house. No luck. I try to get a good grip on my hands and a good tread on my feet and give another yank but with no avail.

I try to move it to on its side so the slight hill that the street is on will help me stand it straight. That made it even worse and created more spillage all over the street. Out of the corner of my eye, I see this ginormous bug running away from the pile of leaves. I yelp in repulsion and try to stay away from it as far as possible. Then for some strange reason I saw it was running in a straight line at a perfect pace down the slope. I looked closer and realized it was a perfect clump of… something rolling out of the trash. I laugh to myself and how silly I sounded, but it’s a plausible scenario that insects could very well be living in my garbage can. As I laughed to myself, I saw yet another car coming towards me, and I darted toward my fence and hid behind it just in case someone gave me a judging look for the mess in the street.

I walk back and look at my situation, admittedly enough I tried to take a picture of it so I could have a laugh and post it on here but alas, it was too dark. I make a few more attempts in pulling the can and kept on failing over and over again no matter how hard I tried. I scurried back and forth between the bushes and the curb as cars whizzed on by the embarrassing scene.

I admit to myself I don’t have the strength to pull it upright, so I wonder if I can push it upright. I get out on the street, and successfully push it upright! I do a little HALLELUAH in my head, before I realize leaves and dirt are getting all over me because more of it was still falling out. The girly part of me wants to let go in revulsion, but I know it’d just happen again if I let go, so I finally completed my mission.

…or so I thought.

I looked around me, and texted Orion if I had to clean up the mess around me or if I could just leave it. I sighed when I saw the simple ‘Yes’ on the screen. So, I marched off to find the shovel, and scooped up the remaining greenery off the street and into the green garbage.

And of course you know I ran away whenever a car came near.