"I don't really like the gumballs for the gum, I just like the satisfying feeling of biting into the ball."

My parents and I went to the mall yesterday to look for a table stand for our new 42' TV!

Exciting, I know.

We walked past 25 cent machines and my Dad gave me a quarter and I was overjoyed.

I chose to get a jawbreaker and it brought back memories...

(I was gypped since the inside was actually a big sweetart on the inside)

It was probably at least 11-12 years ago when Heather had a HUMONGOUS jawbreaker a little smaller than a baseball.

Heather only ate about half of it, and then threw it away in the bathroom garbage.

Now, me being a little 5-6 year old youngin', I really didn't care about germs.

I did three repulsive violations to mankind.

1) I took it out of the garbage can.

2) Didn't even bother washing it.

3) Bon appétit! I ate the whole thing!

I was a naaasteh child back then.

"There's an orange M&M on the floor, it looks delicious!"

I, Emily Sudweeks was stepping into the tub to take a shower.

I didn't look inside the tub when I stepped inside, which is quite out of the ordinary.

Little did I know that I had a little friend that wanted to take a shower with me.

HELLO.

But no, I did not scream like a little school girl. I did not jump. [Maybe just a little bit.]

I simply stepped out of the tub and grabbed Windex.

I drowned that spider with Windex, and washed it down the drain.

My bathtub oddly smells like Windex now.

I AM WOMAN!

"I'm sorry my spit is all over your face now!"

Ashley, Jada, and I always hang out together from 6:35-8:05am since we don't have a 0 period.

For the last three days we've chilled in the car since it's been so cold outside.

5 minutes of being in the car, Jada falls asleep, and I'm soon after.

But right as I fall asleep, I snored ONCE, woke myself up, confused on why I'm awake.

Then, I realized I snored myself awake.

But.. the sad thing to say is that this isn't the first time this has happened..

"Jacob Black is so hot you could bake cookies on him!"

I am no longer allowed to curl my hair on Fridays.

Apparently Derek [a football player] has noticed a correlation to football games and my hair.

Whenever I straighten my hair, Live Oak wins.

If I curl my hair, Live Oak loses.

I am now Derek's good luck charm... or technically Live Oak's good luck charm.

They just don't know it yet.

"And I was like OW PAPERCUT! And Jasper was like OHM NOM NOM NOM NOM!"

I have committed my first federal crime.

I could go to JAIL for this.

I think.

"I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!"

I can't believe I did this.

But I did.

I left my shoes in Stacie's car when she took me home from Cassie's Surprise Birthday Party.

I found her at the dance and she gave me the keys to her car, refusing to come with me to get my shoes.

So I was walking around in the rain for at least five minutes trying to find her car.

I saw an old car and I thought, "Ohh! This is her car! ...Sweet, the door is already unlocked!"

So, I opened the car and searched for my shoes.

It wasn't her car.

I broke and entered into someone's car!!

I must repent.

At least I locked the door when I shut it, I mean, what if I really was a burglar?

"What does my house smell like?"

So I was in drama the other day and we had to get into a circle and one at a time we had to yell a 'primal noise'.

One person chirped like a bird, someone meowed, someone did a wolf.

What did I do?


Oh yeah, I did my imitation of Gollum and screamed, 'MY PRECIOUS!'

No one expected THAT coming out of me.

Oh how I love being unpredictable.

"People are starting to show up, I guess I should pull my pants up now"

It's a bit saddening on how easily amused I get get.

For example, while we were at the airport to welcome home Brian, [he's finally home wewt wewt!] I was excited and happy over the simplest things.

Simple thing number one:

Yes, yes, the floor was glittery, and when I was walking on it I stared at the ground the whole time in awe.

Simple thing number two:

Escalators. Pure joy.

Escalators are pretty much the coolest thing since sliced bread. I went on the escalators THREE times. I only tripped on them once.

I love airports.

"It takes 2 to tango, but it takes 4 to do the YMCA!"

Serious confession time!

For the first time in... a long time, a boy put his arm around me.

SHOCKING I KNOW. The last time that happened was when:

was actually in California.

Oh, did I forget to mention he hasn't been in California for exactly NINE months?

Nine months down, fifteen to go! [=

By the way, the boy that put his arm around me was acting for the play, "It's A Wonderful Life," it meant nothing.

Old Lady: "Is that Emily's real hair?" Mom: "Yes." Old Lady: "Oh, I thought it was a wig."

I was in the bathroom, finishing curling my hair. Still drowsy from my AMAZING one hour nap at 6:40am. (TGIW!)

I pick up my hair spray and check to see if it's working and it sprayed:

AHHHHH!!!!

Right in the kisser!

It hurt.

It burned.

Real bad.

"It's a kitten, I swear!"

CJ and I were walking towards our lunch table and I saw a piece of bread stuck on the wall.

Yes, I know I didn't draw CJ, too lazy.

I have no idea how it is defying gravity... I saw no traces of peanut butter nor jelly.

I wonder if it's going to be there tomorrow...

"My name is Emily and I'm addicted to Otter Pops."

My name is Emily Sudweeks and in the last two nights, I've eaten an otter pop in the shower since I love them, and get the worst brain freeze EVER.

Then, I eat another one.

This is what my garbage pretty much looks like every day...

True story.

I need help.

"Aunt Tilly, do I look good enough to eat?"

Madison, Afari [awesomenest name ever], and I were at play practice and we were hungry so we went to the vending machine.

We saw a truck driver that was glaring at us evily, and we joked that he planned on running us over with his truck.

Of course, he gets into his truck and starts heading toward us.

Afari says, "Shall we scream at the top of our lungs and run away with our hands in the air?"

So naturally we did.

You are jealous of my drawing skills.

Afari had the BEST school girl scream I've ever heard in my life, which made me choke on my Chex Mix... which made me tear up.... but good thing that when we got back to the theatre we had a funeral scene... my tears look realistic!

I'm going to like play practice so much more now...

"I guess we can't preach now, let's go sit in the bathtub!"

In seminary we were memorizing scripture mastery songs, which were quite catchy to familiar hymns.

We got in the car, excited since we got a hold of the CD with all of the songs.

Of course, the cool thing to do is to roll down our windows, turn the volume up so the windows shook, and start to sing along complete with dancing and head banging. [Even the driver partook, shhh.]

Yeah, I'm positive people were judging.

After we got out of the car, we started to sing and march, "And if youuu keep my commandments... and enduuuuure to the end,... you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of ALL the gifts of Gooooood. Doctrine and Covenants fourteen seeeeeeeevennn!"

Psh, and people say Mormons don't have fun.